


I'm Not Okay

by kitarin



Series: Nicotine [1]
Category: Kamen Rider Drive
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-11
Updated: 2015-05-11
Packaged: 2018-03-30 00:32:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3916480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitarin/pseuds/kitarin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?  (a missing scene from Episode 28)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not Okay

**Author's Note:**

  * For [amdnj](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amdnj/gifts).



Chase can't take his eyes off Gou.

Reaching out to pick up Gou's hand, Shinnosuke turns it palm up to double-check for a mark. “050's effects have worn off...” Gou's gaze is blank and off into the distance. He can't even bring himself to look Shinnosuke in the eye.

Chase can't rid himself of the itchy cold feeling that this is _wrong_.

Shinnosuke's eyes lift to Gou's face as he attempts and fails at a smile. “You're okay now, Gou.”

 _No, Gou is most definitely not okay._ Chase can feel Gou's unspoken feelings screaming through his silence.

Gou's eyes finally refocus on their hands and then his other hand rises, slowly prying the first from Shinnosuke's grasp.

Shinnosuke's eyes flicker to their hands and then back to Gou's face, his expression falling in worry, trying to mask the deeper hurt at the rejection.

Shuffling backwards a few steps first, Gou then turns and stumbles off down the stairs, Chase and Shin's eyes following him.

“Family... humanity...” Chase closes his eyes as feelings he has no idea how to process wash over him, but before Shinnosuke can even open his mouth to respond, his phone rings.

“Kiriko,” he mouthes with another sad attempt at a smile and when Chase's eyes flicker off towards Gou's exit, he nods thankfully.

Chase doesn't need permission to follow Gou, but he's also glad to know he's not the only one perturbed by the latest turn of events. Shinnosuke and Gou have been working together for some time now, and Chase has no desire to come between the two of them.

As suspected, Gou hasn't actually gone far yet – down the stairs and halfway through the underpass, where he's paused to lean on a wall, staring dully into the void. The cars rushing by overhead mask the sound of Chase's light footfall and when he reaches out to grab Gou's wrist, he can tell he's startled the other rider.

Gou reacts sharply, violently, attempting to yank his wrist away, but Chase is prepared and his grip is steel. “Gou.”

“What the fuck do you want?!” Gou attempts to wrench his wrist away again, and when that fails, he reels back for a punch with his other hand.

“I don't want to fight with you.”

Gou's fisted hand freezes in mid-air at Chase's words. His instinct is to attack the Roidmude, but... he doesn't really have that much fight left in him after the day's events. At least, that's what he tells himself when he lets his hand drop limply to his side. It's not the entire truth. His gaze averts, waiting for Chase to speak again.

Chase can sense the internal war, and though their reasonings may differ, he can't help but feel a kinship to... the confusion... anger... grief... to not knowing what the right path is... “Whatever it is you think you need to do... wherever you need to go... just make sure, when you're done... to come back.”

“Come back?” Gou tenses again as he drags his eyes back to Chase's, an incredulous expression on his face.

“Tomari needs you, Kiriko -”

But Chase doesn't get a chance to finish his sentence, because Gou is laughing – loudly, brokenly, in disbelief – and then he's suddenly as far into Chase's space as he can, yelling, “What gives you the right to act like you're one of us? What gives you the right to act like... like you _care_?! You're a _Roidmude!_ ”

“I...” But what is Chase supposed to say when it's merely a fact he can't refute? “I'm a Kamen -”

“I've literally done nothing but try to kill you!” Gou exclaims, his free hand snapping up and closing around Chase's neck, annoyed but unsurprised when Chase doesn't even flinch. “I can get not fighting back – I'm a human, it's programming, but – genuine compassion?” He shakes his head fiercely, his hand closing tighter around Chase's neck, jostling him slightly. “There's no reason to feel like that about someone who's repeatedly treated you like dirt and tried to kill you!”

Gou is so close that Chase can feel the unevenness of his ragged breathing and see the anguish in his dark eyes. “You... don't have to like me,” he rasps out, his grip still tight around Gou's wrist, his other hand still calmly at his side. He's already taken worse hits in the last few days, after all. “But we're on the same side -”

“That's the problem! We're not! We're _not_!” Gou rages, but instead of choking or shaking Chase, his hand releases, catching in the purple cowl of Chase's jacket. “YOU'RE A ROIDMUDE! I SHOULD HATE YOU! I'M SUPPOSED TO KILL YOU! I HAVE TO-”

Gou's words cut off abruptly as he jerks Chase forward, crushing their lips together. Chase's hand goes limp in surprise for a heartbeat, and then, instinct kicks in and he kisses Gou back, hard.

Chase's head hits the wall with a hard thud as Gou backs him into the concrete of the underpass, his tongue delving heatedly into Chase's mouth. Teeth sink into lips and hands find their way into hair as time seems to slow down to a crawl...

And then with a gasp, Gou breaks away.

Staggering back a step as if he's just experienced slowdown, he stares at Chase, both of them flushed and dazed. “.....fuck,” he mutters, and without another word, he takes off at a run.

Chase doesn't follow him a second time, too stunned to even think of it until Gou is long out of sight.

 

 

 

 


End file.
